Tips to Survive Quarantine as a Couple

Given that the confinement to prevent the spread of COVID-19 has become necessary and that we are forced to stay in our houses 24 hours a day except to go out and buy the essentials or take a short walk with the dog if we are lucky to have one these days, we can take this extraordinary situation as an opportunity to improve some aspects of our lives; between them, our relationship.

A couple is the result of the combination of two entities that come together to form a new set and since each member has their specific qualities, conflicts inevitably arise. Now, the quality of our relationship will depend on the way in which we are able to handle them.

I propose 10 tips to try to keep at bay the consequences of this quarantine in our partner and, if possible, even enrich it.

Tips to Survive Quarantine as a Couple

1. Equitable organization of household chores.

We are all at home and it is essential that household chores are organized so that we all collaborate and no more weight falls on one or the other. In addition, this will help us establish a routine and thus avoid that the days overlap and we have meal times, sleep, etc. as normal.

2. Time and personal space.

It is important that even if we are a couple, we are not always together in the same space. An interesting idea is to agree to spend certain times of the day in different rooms and then meet at some time with our partner to do some activity together and share how the day went. Do not take it badly that your partner needs personal space, it does not mean that he is angry with you or that he loves you less but that dedicating time to ourselves is very healthy.

3. Individual social life.

In addition to spending time, it is also beneficial to each have their own social life. During this confinement, we must not give up socializing with our family and friends and also respect the social life of our partner.

4. Do not fall into monotony.

We always complain that we do not have time and now that we have so much, we can take advantage of it to carry out all those activities that we like to do as a couple like cooking together, playing sports, watching a series or movie, board games, planning a getaway for when the confinement is over or just enjoy a good conversation.

5. Create intimate moments.

In a relationship, it is always recommended that we don’t forget to look for moments to share with our partner. For this reason, we can make this quarantine the perfect opportunity to re-plan meetings with our partner: get ready a little and prepare a good dinner with wine and dessert, make popcorn and choose a movie that you have been wanting to see for a movie afternoon. , meet to exercise or dance in the lounge as if it were a dance floor, make your own spa session with candles, music, and massages, etc. Also, this is a good time to rekindle the spark and spend a little more time on sexual encounters. You can be as creative and imaginative as you want, now there are no excuses.

6. Time to talk.

These days when stress and uncertainty reign, being able to talk about how we feel, our fears and worries are very important. We are already quite over-informed about the coronavirus, so we have to try to reduce this topic as much as possible so that it does not become the only topic of conversation. When talking, it is important that we know how to listen and we use our sense of humor as positively as possible. In arguments, try to be flexible and reasonable.

7. Control anger.

We are all burdened by this situation and many arguments may start with “nonsense” and pay it with our partner. We should try to analyze the importance of the problem before turning it into conflict, try to relativize it, and if it is possible to blame the quarantine, then it is not your partner’s fault.

8. Normalize conflicts.

If in our normal life the conflicts are habitual, during the confinement also. There is a greater possibility of confrontations and greater difficulty in managing them. We should not make hot decisions; If arguments arise that are rising in tone or could lead to a breakup, it is better to postpone them until all this is over and resume them later to see if we continue to see it in the same way.

9. Say what bothers you.

Many of us find it difficult to express what bothers us but it is recommended to do so. We know that when we keep things inside, they accumulate and, in the end, they make a ball, we explode and leave in the worst possible way.

We must say it but always with respect and taking into account the feelings of the other person. We will try not to speak from the accusing you (“You do this or that”) and do it from the self (“I consider …”, “I think that …”, “I feel …”. Also, we will avoid using terms of everything or nothing and we will not express criticism from the “always” or the “never” replacing them with “sometimes”.

10. Think positive.

Although saying what bothers us is healthy, we should not be left with only the negative. In general, over time we tend to focus more on the things that we do not like about the other and we forget about the positive aspects, to value those small details and, above all, to express it to our partner.

We have to make an effort and change our focus and start to see the good and make our partner feel it too. As a team, we must support and take care of ourselves. We can start with a “good morning”, “how are you?”, Prepare breakfast in the morning, a kiss, a caress, a hug, etc. It is the small details of the day to day that generate great changes.

If we change the prism, we will be able to see this experience as an opportunity to share, improve communication, iron out rough edges, and reinforce intimacy and trust. In short, learning to take care of ourselves at the same time as the other, thus finding the perfect balance between the “me” and “the couple.”