Steps To Stop Hating Your Ex

This is the best technique to leave him in the past.

Carrying the memory of a love that did not turn out well has many consequences that can damage your mental and physical health. We all know that it is best to “stay ahead”, but how to leave behind someone who hurt you?


Taking into account the negative effect that your ex may have on your life, it is very important to learn to detach yourself.

Although it sounds difficult, there is a way to leave those feelings behind:

Steps To Stop Hating Your Ex

 1. Recognize that you can not change what happened between the two.

Clinging to the past and reviewing old situations is painful and useless.

 2. Pay attention at what moments you remember your ex.

Pay attention to the factors that trigger your nostalgia, is it when you feel lonely?

Or maybe when you pass by the restaurant you used to frequent?

 3. Change your thought patterns.

Once you recognize situations that remind you of your ex, you can practice what is known as cognitive-behavioral therapy and make a conscious effort to change your thought patterns and free your mind from it.

 4. Try to talk less and less about him.

In the beginning, you will not be able to avoid the subject and it’s okay, it’s therapeutic to take it all out. But over time try to do it less and less, not only to let go, but also to not annoy your friends and family.

 5. Call him by his name.

To continue calling him “my ex” implies that you still feel related to him, that he is still something of yours.

Just say his name, those who know you will know who you’re talking about.

 6. Forgive him.

This does not absolve him from his actions, but it can free you from the physical and emotional burden you have placed on yourself.

That is, forgiving your ex allows you to let go of the harmful role that still plays in your life.

 7. Write.

A very powerful exercise can be to write your feelings towards him and what happened between you.

Once you put everything on paper, it suddenly seems less important and it is no longer impossible to move on.

 8. Focus on the good that he left you.

All relationships, even the most unhealthy ones, leave us with a lesson. Maybe you learned to detect infidelities, to not let them mistreat you or not to make yourself illusions out of reality.

Thank him for what he taught you and let him go.

9. Choose to leave the past behind.

Even if you can not or do not want to forgive him (you are in all your rights), you can regain control of your life by choosing to leave hate in the past and give yourself the opportunity for a happier future.

In short, do not let him keep you controlling you even if he’s not there anymore.