Reasons not to go out with an older man

They can say whatever they want: that “for love, there is no age”, that “if there is love nothing matters,” but the reality is that a relationship with an older man is not a good idea.

I say this from my experience after having spent six years of my life with a 20 years older; At that time I was 23 and he was 43. Today we are not together.

That courtship, which led us to live together, ended when I turned 30 and was bored because, as expected, there came a point where we were not living at the same pace. For my part, I had entered that phase where you want to live everything, where you feel that you should not keep anything and he was more interested in enjoying a quiet life.

He was my father’s age; I also have uncles who were younger than him at the time. What always made me think that it was not an adequate relationship.

I will not deny that they offer a lot of stability, that they give you a queen treatment and that for them there will not be anything more important in the world than you, but in the end, something will always feel that something is not right.

Therefore, five years away and about to turn 35, I list here the main reasons for not going out with an older man:

Reasons not to go out with an older man

1. You do not live at your own pace.

Although at that moment you do not mind, in the long term you will regret the fact of enjoying some things typical of your age and that only happen with a boyfriend of your age, for example, enjoying a music festival jumping and screaming.

As much as they lend themselves to doing it with you, it is natural that the experience is different.

2. You get a dad.

There comes a time when that older man assumes a role similar to that of your father, because he takes care of you and scolds you as such, something that at some point in the relationship is going to bother you and, as happens with the parents, you will want to free yourself.

Also, unconsciously, it’s like that: you’re looking for that fatherly love you missed at home. In my case, I had lost my father when I was 17 and today I’m almost sure that he covered that figure, obviously in another way.

3. You give invaluable time.

The truth I believe that a relationship of this kind is not destined to last forever, some yes, of course, but when time passes you will realize that you gave the best years of your life living a different relationship than you should have, in that time when you can still consider yourself young.

4. Maybe you can not make plans to have children.

It is common for them to be divorced and have children, so they think twice about having more children.

Also, think that if you have them, he will not be able to enjoy them equally, because he will be much older.

5. Get married?

It is the same as in the previous point, perhaps they have already gone through the experience of marriage so they prefer to experience other ways of committing to love, for example, free union.

It does not mean that he does not love you, it’s just that he already live it and you haven’t yet.

If it is you desire to marry in dress, banquet, and ladies, it is better to get away in time.

6. You compare yourself with your friends.

At least it happened to me.

You see your friends, those who are your age, live adventures with boyfriends their age; It is also something that for a time does not matter, but when the years go by and you look back you will think that maybe you would have liked to do things differently.

7. Pressure or family questioning.

Even when you are very independent and make your own decisions, the truth is that you will always feel some discomfort for what your family thinks or, they will surely make you notice that it is not something that is going to suit you in the long term.

That is, if what your family thinks is important, surely you will always be thinking about whether to go ahead with him or not.

Of course I do not regret it, those were unforgettable days: the lunches in the woods on Sundays, movie nights, coffee always ready and a man willing to do everything for you; But if today I would be presented with the opportunity to have a relationship like this again, I definitely would not take it.

I am currently single and have learned to capitalize on my experiences in favor; today I would hardly accept a man just for not being alone; For nothing, I have a clear definition of what I want and I will not accept less than that.

Everyone lives their reality and makes their decisions according to their circumstances, however the decision to have a relationship with an older man is something I recommend to think twice.

Do you want to know something else?

That man has a new relationship with another young woman, she is 27 and he is about to turn 55. Undoubtedly, he repeats a pattern or covers some need by generating relationships of this type.

Note: he is divorced and has three children who are around my age: the thirties.